Ugly Crying

I just got home from watching "The Fault in our Stars".

I cried in the movie like a girl.

Nothing major, just a brush away a tear here and there.

I cried not for the love story but for those who would be left behind,

like I will be left behind when my mom goes.

I know that those who go before leave this world for one

of peace, one without pain, without worry and heartache.

They enter love, the love that the Savior gives.

They go onto brighter days and they don't go far.

After the movie as we sat and talk for a moment, my friend

brought up the question "if cancer was always here and we are just better at finding it"

I think our world has always know the hurt of cancer even if we didn't know what it was.

I also think that Cancer and Mental Illness are the great plagues.

With this statement my heart broke, because we are dealing with both in our family right now.

And I ugly cried for all to see and try as I might to stop I couldn't.

Suck.

You know what I hate about mental illness?

You can't speak openly, you can't gather support like you could if

it was cancer or diabetes or any other health issue.

Have we come further then we where in the resent past.

Heck yes, but it's not far enough.

I hate that I can't be open about who in my family is suffering and with what kinda of issues.

That I have to keep them safe from idiots in the world.

I think it hurts everyone, how much knowledge could be shared?

How many life's could be better or even saved?

If only we could talk about it as openly as you would if it was cancer.

Luckily we don't need a big old support group to love them, 

to pray for them, to treat them like any other person.

Cancer and mental illness both suck eggs!